Slinky Chink

Malaysia, my home?

2006-11-22T23:45:00.000+08:00

Growing up, I hated leaving Malaysia for our yearly family vacation. I hated leaving the comforts of my home, being away from my friends and having to deal with food, climate, people and culture I was not accustom to. Sure, Italy had the Vatican, Egypt had the Pyramids, New York has the Statue of Liberty, LA had Universal Studios, Melbourne has the (then) 12 Apostles…but nothing felt better than being home.

In college I made conscious choices to stay in the country. I changed from an American Degree Program which required I spend 3 years in Western Michigan to an Australian Program which only required I spend one year away. I was eventually given the choice to complete the entire course in Malaysia and I choose to stay.

When I finally started working I started to feel the itch for an overseas stint. I went to Singapore for a while but eventually returned home. But the longer I stayed in the country the more discontent I felt. I met some really inspirational people from other countries who made me realize that the methodologies and strategies deployed by local companies were less than desirable. I also became more aware of my rights as a Chinese Malaysian.

Malaysia lacks creativity and the ability to advance as the cream of the crop went overseas to study and has no motivation to return. My cousin for example was unable to obtain a scholarship in Malaysia but was granted a full scholarship by Cambridge University for his outstanding performance. He’s gone on to work for huge companies in London, New York, Hong Kong, Spain and Singapore. The one country he won’t be working in anytime soon is his home country. My friends were gladly accepted into Singapore polytechnics and universities after failing to get a place in the local universities. Some of them have given up their Malaysian citizenship as they felt more Singaporean than Malaysian.

After spending 27 years of my life in a place I called home, a place I never wanted to leave despite numerous opportunities, I feel torn to admit I want out. I am tired of policies which benefits a certain race. I am sick of working my ass off for a government who sends someone into space to play “batu seremban” and to make ‘the tarik” in the name of science??? I had enough with our corrupt policemen, politicians, taxi drivers, our repressed local media, our stupid “Malaysia Boleh” catch cry. I am disappointed to learn that immigrants from Vietnam and other war torn countries get housing, heath care and allowances from the Australian government whereas I, Malaysian am a second class citizen in my own country.

Fate knocks on my door and once again I am given a chance to leave, this time I think I’ll walk.

Sabah Surprise

2006-11-20T21:21:00.000+08:00

It’s amazing to meet up with an old friend after 14 years of being apart and still being able to pick up where we left off as if time didn’t move at all. We could COMMUNICATE as if we where still the best of friends, without the fear of being judged, without needing to thread of egg shells, without barriers, without egos, without awkward silences.

It’s refreshing to know that in the fast paced world I live in some things really don’t change at all.

Getting started on the South Beach Diet

2006-11-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

Today marks the end of my Phase 1 diet on the beach. In total I’ve lost 3kgs after 2 weeks and I feel great. Tomorrow onwards I’ll be entering phase 2 of the South Beach Diet where I’ll be introducing fruits and other South Beach Diet friendly carbs back into my diet. I can’t wait to sink my teeth into my organic peanut butter whole wheat sandwich!!!

Friends have been asking me about this diet as there is a visible difference in my waistline. For anyone interested to get started on the South Beach Diet I recommend getting the book. Otherwise there is a wealth of information readily available on the web; I don’t want to reinvent the wheel blogging about it.

Instead what I like to share is some of the possible hurdles being on the South Beach Diet and how to overcome it.

You don’t like eggs – During phase 1, breakfast will compromise of mainly eggs in one way or another-Eggs with ham, eggs with asparagus, eggs with mushroom, eggs with cheese and tomatoes… I am a big fan of eggs, but after ten days of eggs, I was close to gagging on it. There are a couple of options such as cottage cheese and salads which can be eaten instead of eggs. You could also eat food meant for lunch and dinner during breakfast.

You hate vegetables- If you hate vegetables I can safely say that this diet is not meant for you. The South Beach Diet is about making healthy long term changes to your diet and if you are not willing to make this important change to your diet then try Atkins at your own peril. Otherwise experiement with different types of vegetables and you’ll surely find something which agrees with your taste buds. Personally I like zucchini, broccoli and asparagus.

You hate cooking – It is pretty hard to stay healthy if you eat out everyday. The first 2 weeks of the South Beach Diet, is pretty restrictive and restaurant food tends to have sugar or flour in most dishes. There are a few places which serve SB friendly food but be prepared to spend a little extra. Try avoiding Asian restaurants in general for the first two weeks. During Phase 1 I ate mainly at home, but when forced to eat outside I choose Subway, Coffee Bean and Chili’s for their salads.

You love and can’t live without rice, pasta, bread, cookies, and potatoes – If you are addicted to carb-rich food I can tell you that the first 3 days will be hell. After that your body will adapt and the cravings will disappear. I am big on pastries and used to have it for breakfast and tea but the cravings have stopped and I can walk into a bakery and walk out empty handed, but God I do love the smell of butter!

I struggled for the first few days but it got a little easier as I watched my weight slowly creeping down. I am looking forward to Phase 2, I hope I can keep the weight off, wish me luck!

Why are you sabotaging my diet?

2006-11-06T00:28:00.000+08:00

I’ve been on the South Beach Diet for exactly a week now and the results are pretty amazing. The diet is healthy or at least healthier from what I am typically used to eating and I don’t feel hungry as the diet advocates 5-6 meals a day. I do miss fast food, potatoes, bread and mmmm my boyfriend’s yummy pasta but I’ve managed not to falter, yet. Grrrrr…but reading Boss Stevie’s blog certainly doesn’t help….

Mentally, I am prepared for difficult days: days when I gain kilos instead of losing, days when I have to put my diet on hold to entertain clients, days when I need to say “NO” to Bakerzin’s orgasmic Pistachio Crème Brulee even though every fiber in my being yearns for it…

What I wasn’t prepared for was the lack of support from the people around me. It’s astounding, but not all that surprising. At work for example there’s this 40 odd unmarried lady who hardly ever speaks to me. But last Tuesday, while I was happily munching away on my salad, had the nerve to walk into my cubicle and boast about her ability to eat anything without gaining weight. Two days later she offered me some “goreng pisang” and boasted loudly about her super humanly high metabolic rate when I declined the offer.

Some of my friends on the other hand, tell me I look fine and claim that men these days like women with a little more meat. Another friend whom I haven’t seen in over a year made an observation that the diet didn’t seem to be working and predicted that I’ll gain all the weight I lost eventually.

Why is it that certain people (indirectly or otherwise) sabotage my diet plans?

Personally, I think there are several reasons:

There are those who want to make me feel better so they say things like “…But you look fine now”. They want me to feel great about myself and are sometimes not aware of the implications of one more cheesecake. While such people could easily derail my diet, they mean no harm or ill intention.

There are those who are struggling with their own weight and might feel pressured to lose weight if I were to succeed. Rather then getting fit, they rather maintain the status quo.

Finally there are those do it out of jealousy or out of their own insecurities. For example, I am speculating that the 40+ old single colleague is doing it so that she feels superior to me in this aspect. I also had an ex-boyfriend who was afraid I’d leave him if I started to slim down.

How do I handle such situations?

I picture myself in a sexy bikini on a beach in Phuket giving the finger to everyone who thought I wouldn't make it.

I will not give anyone the satisfaction of stopping me from getting what I want.

One Week Ago

2006-11-05T11:16:00.000+08:00

Exactly one week ago I felt absolutely lousy. For someone who always seems to be brimming with confidence, my weight problem is my Achilles Heel. Last week, I jumped onto the scales and felt sick…61kg…that’s the highest I’ve been in a long time…I felt so sick. In an ideal world, a person should be judged based on the beauty within but the world we live in is far from being ideal. I hate being fat…I hate the way I feel self-conscious when I am out with my slim friends…I hate people cracking jokes about my weight…I hate trying to cut back on food only to succumb to a midnight binge…But what I hate the most is how my weight effects the way I view myself, how it makes me feel depressed and wallow in self-pity…but... I will not crumble, I will not lay down and dieeeeeeee!!!!

You Play World of Warcraft? You're Hired!

2006-03-26T16:03:00.000+08:00

All ye geeks REJOICE!!! It seems stating your MMORPG (which stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games for all you who have a life) experience in your resume could land you a dream job. This Wired article centers on Stephen Gillett, a Yahoo! senior manager who got his job in part because he was a top guild master in the online role-playing game World of Warcraft.

The articles suggests that when role-playing gamers team up to undertake a quest, they often need to attempt particularly difficult challenges repeatedly until they find a blend of skills, talents, and actions that allows them to succeed. This process makes them more flexible in their thinking and more sensitive to social cues

Non-gamers seem to think that it is all wishful thinking and begrudgingly scoff, “there’s no way role-playing an orc, an elf or a troll could create a talent pool of savvy managers”.

Personally, to be successful in team play games such as Counter Strike and MMORPG’s, one is required to have many skills beyond taping the mouse and executing perfect head shots.

Counter Strike for example encourages:

Planning – Any self respecting CS clan would have the floor plan of all competition maps - marked with legends, arrows and kopi O stains, and various strategies to infiltrate or secure the designated territory. Contingency plans and cash flow budgeting are also important to bounce back from early loses.

Patience - It’s pointless storming hostile territory ALONE when the enemy is camping at vantage points waiting to pump your body with lead. Wiser to wait for backup and hope to create a diversion with a handful of flashbangs and smoke grenades before charging in.

Watch your back – Back stabbing is probably more prevalent while harder to notice in the real world that in the game of Counter Strike, so it’s a good thing it’s second nature I watch my back to prevent being shot, or more embarrassingly knifed to death. Never assume no one is hiding behind that wooden box or that dark corner. Once the parameter is secured, be a team player and announce (f4), “Sector Clear!”

Online gaming is very similar to CS team play though it usually involves a larger community.

Cross-culture interpersonal skills - Interaction with guild members (especially if in an international guild) is usually limited in-game, therefore it is important to understand and be sensitive to different cultures and ensure that the message conveyed is clear.

Persuasion – Being part of a male dominant community does wonders in enhancing one’s persuasion powers.

The article continues…

In this way, the process of becoming an effective World of Warcraft guild master amounts to a total-immersion course in leadership. A guild is a collection of players who come together to share knowledge, resources, and manpower. To run a large one, a guild master must be adept at many skills: attracting, evaluating, and recruiting new members; creating apprenticeship programs; orchestrating group strategy; and adjudicating disputes. Guilds routinely splinter over petty squabbles and other basic failures of management; the master must resolve them without losing valuable members, who can easily quit and join a rival guild. Never mind the virtual surroundings; these conditions provide real-world training a manager can apply directly in the workplace.

The day may not be far off when companies receive résumés that include a line reading "level 60 tauren shaman in World of Warcraft."

Nice ah Boss Stewie? Make me do stupid school meme...

2006-03-25T19:38:00.000+08:00

He who pisses in the country side bushes tagged me with a school meme some time back. Nice ah?

I have some wonderful memories of me vandalizing school property and flooding my school’s “bengkel” when assigned to clean the roof as a form of punishment. Slinky – 2, School –Nil!

How many schools did I go to?

Four. I was in the same primary school up till I completed my UPSR but changed secondary schools three times.

Was I the studious nerd, or the last minute hero?

Definitely the last minute HERO. I think I bring it when it comes to last minute studying. During my time, part of the examinations were multiple choice - Teachers used to call me “Sharp Shooter”, indicating that I seldom knew the answer for sure but always managed to “tikam” (guess) the right one.

Was I the class ‘taiko’ or the teacher’s pet?

A Taiko, who was also the headmistress’s pet (powerleh!) until a certain incident. Please refer below.

What was the biggest rule I broke in school?

Man I broke so many rules in school but being the headmistress’s pet and never getting caught was my key to not getting expelled. Rules i broke include – skirts too short, socks too high, shop lifting, vandalizing, playing truant, defiance of prefects and teachers, etc etc but the one thing that got me into a whole load of trouble was a half page article I wrote about the tyranny of my school’s rules which got published in Youth Quake.

Thanks NST for publishing my email address which also happens to be my real name! Nice ah?

Three subjects I enjoyed.

Literature, English and Economics

Three teachers that inspired me.

My Literature, English and Economics teachers.

Who's Your Granddaddy?

2006-03-24T13:57:00.000+08:00

David Bozdoganov, a 75 year old granddad is now the newest star of Russia's growing porn industry, after wandering on to a film set by mistake, thinking it was a muscle man show.

Director Alexander Plahov said:

"We were auditioning for a new film and had a number of couples on stage simulating sex when I saw an old guy standing at the back. I wandered over to ask him to leave when I saw this massive package straining against his trousers. I thought, now this could be an original idea. And I was right: all the movies we've made with David have been huge successes."

The jazz auteur said Dynamite Dave's biggest hits have been The Old Neighbour and The Handyman at Work.

But not everyone is delighted. The priapic pensioner apparently believes in the beneficial powers of garlic and his female co-stars have complained about his habit of rubbing it on his genitals before filming action scenes.

Source: Here

"MiTV To Bank On Content Superiority". What Content?

2006-03-20T00:48:00.000+08:00

I hardly ever read the business section of the local dailies as it is often filled with crap articles like the one below:

In the article, MiTV’s chairman, Datuk Dr Ir Rosman Ridzwan felt that MiTV, being a “content-oriented” company, has an advantage over the far more established Celcom and Maxis. He said it was no surprise that MiTV was one of the two winners in the recent bidding for the 3G licence, “as 3G is a multimedia platform, not a voice or short messaging service.”

“Content is a very critical element in making 3G a success.

Errr…Datuk Rosman, I hate to be the one to rain on your parade but MiTV does NOT have superior content. It hardly has any content! A payTV with absolutely no sports (not even cricket for crying out loud!) and hardly any English content can’t possibly brand itself as “superior” in the content department.

"Referring to MiTV's premium set-top box for payTV, which some quarters had viewed as “not so attractive”, Rosman admitted that the interactivity part was as yet not very efficient and hence the hesitation of potential customers."

Errr... Datuk, about the interactive features, if you actually have MiTV installed in your home, you would realize it doesn’t work at all. That’s right, there are NO interactive features to speak of. So it’s not exactly about the efficiency you should be worried about, it’s the AVAILABILITY.

Also Datuk consider it good new that MiTV only has 5000 subscribers. It’s better if less people know the true extent of Malaysia’s latest stillborn.

Let Me Live In Denial Please!

2006-03-19T00:20:00.000+08:00

Have you heard of the Formula One Paddock Club? This very atas ticket grants you access to pit lanes, grandstand seats, endless supply of hors d'oeuvres, Champange, and luxurious hospitality facility. Have you ever heard of someone with enough balls to turn down such an opportunity?

Well boys and girls, you are now reading the blog of one such person. I turned down this once in a life time chance to attend to more important matters-attending the MapleStory VaVaVoom event.

Sigh…The truth is… I am an IDIOT who doesn’t watch F1 and had no freaking idea what Paddock seats were and that it cost a freaking 4k USD!!!!1111oneoneoneone. @$#$^%^%$^%$#!!!

So anyway instead of sharing pictures of hot chicks in short shorts, aerodynamic cars zipping away at over 360km per hour, Russian celebrities and lots and lots of Champagne, here are some pictures of what Formula One Paddock Members missed:

The thrill of draping a 18th foot banner across the shop front

The wonderment of ensuring all PCs are free from any form of keyloggers.

The buzz of watching the crowd build up

And the warmth of happy faces.

Let me live in denial…

Yeah!!! I have free paddock seat tickets to Saturday’s F1!!!

2006-03-18T19:03:00.000+08:00

"So where are the pictures of chicks and the cars? Who did you rub shoulders with? And what the hell are those two furry things?"

More later tonight…

Who Took the Cookie From the Cookie Jar?

2006-03-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

The boyfriend casually asks, “berbair, are you still on your diet?"

“Yes sweetie”.

“Dam, I felt like pizza. So I am guessing you want something healthy for dinner. No sugar and carbohydrates right?”

“Yes, sweetie”. My boyfriend is great. Not only is he a great cook, he accommodates my fussy eating habits.

“Berbair, have you heard of the 2 percent rule? Market research has shown that consumers are unlikely to notice a 2 percent difference in a product or service. For example, Mc Donald’s could reduce the size of a Big Mac by 2 percent or increase the price of a McValue meal by 2 percent without customers noticing it. Do you think it’s true?”

I thought about what he said.

Hmmmm…if this pint was 2 percent smaller would I notice it?

NO.

Hmmmm…if this dress was 2 percent shorter would I notice it?

NO.

Hmmmm…if the cat lost 2 percent of her weight would I notice it?

NO.

“Sweetie, I think the 2 percent rule is possibly quite accurate in certain cases” I reply.

A grin appears across the boyfriend’s face. “Maybe you can apply the 2 percent rule the next time you eat my chocolate while pretending to be on a diet”.

Guiltily, I glance at the half eaten Cadbury bar on the kitchen table. “Alright, let’s call Dominos”.

What Would We Do Without The Internet?

2006-03-12T23:09:00.000+08:00

It is a shinning example of viral marketing success and is proving to be more contagious than the flu. In a week, probably 2 million people worldwide have “ooohhhh-ed" and “aaaahhhh-ed" at this video which depicts how Bart, Homer, Marg, Lisa and Maggie would look like if they were humans.

It got me thinking-what would an animated Slinky look like?

Ahhhh, yes. I can see myself as Skipper, the head honcho of the penguins in Madagascar. Cute and cuddly boys ...cute and cuddly.

Let Me Finish My Suicide Note

2006-03-12T02:31:00.000+08:00

I picked up "Let Me Finish" by Udo Grashoff while browsing through the bookstore today. The book is a collection of suicide letters released from police files in Germany, and are accompanied by a brief explanation using the case notes surrounding the suicide. Unrequited love, public shame and the loss of a loved one are all painful experiences, but very few people react by taking their own lives.

Sample of some of the suicide notes

Karin P wrote to her husband before killing herself and their three children

I am committing this act in order to bring you to your senses, I hope you understand that. (She leaves money for funeral roses in her handbag.) I should have just spent this cash because you never thought once of the children when you bought your motorbikes, your car or your telescope — it was all about your pleasure.

Suicide note by an indebted 58-year-old man in Dusseldorf

Income 156 marks
Rent 43.65
Light 12.60
Laundry 15
Grave 10
Coal 5
Debts 8
156 - 94.25 = 61.75.
31 days living and smoking on 61.75 marks is impossible, so I wish my life farewell.

If I were to kill myself, what sort of suicide note would I leave behind?

Dearest,

Thank you for still loving me after the incident involving a clipper and the hair on your head 4 weeks before your brother’s wedding. I love you for many reasons, particularly your chicken salads. Please bury me with my notebook; heaven’s bound to have internet sooner or later and I have a couple domain names I would like to squat on. My worldly possessions are yours to keep, with the exception of my Ipod. You may only keep it if you promise never to taint it with the likes of Westlife and Backstreet Boys. Tell my Mum that her constant line dancing to Achy Breaky Heart is shortening the life expectancy of both my sister and Dad, and that her cream puffs is the single cause ten people had bad diarrhea last Christmas. You have been my greatest love and I will cycle through you, Brad Pitt and Jack Gyllenhaal while masturbating in heaven.

Love,
slinky

Breast For Success

2006-03-11T03:14:00.000+08:00

Errmmmmm...what is this advertisement advertising?
Let’s face it: Sex sells. It explains why exhibitors at PC Fair, the largest congregation of sex deprived geeks, employ fresh faced teenage girls to help push pen drives and hard disks.

So it came as no surprise to hear that our competitor have started to trim their formerly male dominant sales force to make way for long legged girls. Ours is an industry where most of our customers are 30-40 year old men who could use the flattery from the opposite sex. In today’s business world, it is debatable if what they are doing is appropriate.

But the show must go on and I believe at least in the shot term, in fighting fire with fire. So while I work on an earth-moving, ground-breaking business strategy, my HR will be hiring reinforcements. If you know of anyone who fits the bill, please send them my way.

Executive, Outdoor Sales

Slinky Chink Pte Ltd is a fast growing company in a male dominant environment. We are seeking hot female sales personnel to give us an edge in this very exciting industry. If you have the required skills, the desire to work in a casual atmosphere and would like to take advantage of your good looks, please send your resume to slinkychink@gmail.com Job Duties: This person is an integral part of the business and the principal point of contact between customer and the company. Specific duties include (but are not limited to): • Demonstrate product features and benefits • Sell by convincing, confusing or conning the customer • Develop leads from customer referrals • Misc. duties as assigned Requirements: • Female with BMI not exceeding 20 and minimum cup size of C • Resourceful, persuasive, attractive and result oriented • Pleasant personality with good intercoursepersonal skills • Experience in buttering a man’s ball is an added advantage • Applicants with the following work experience are strongly encouraged to apply: o SIA cabin crew o F1 promoters o Crazy Horse Strippers o Door bitches The Company provides an excellent working environment, an attractive remuneration package, a free boob job, miniskirts and stilettos, with a good prospect for career advancement. Those interested should apply online providing a complete resume stating your working experience, vital stats, contact telephone number and a recent headshot to slinkchink@gmail.com

I Am Going To KILL Myself By Drinking This Whole Bottle Of Clairol Herbal Essence Shampoo!!!

2006-03-07T16:10:00.000+08:00

There is nothing remotely charming about coming home to a broken bedroom door, courtesy of your housemate’s boyfriend’s left shoulder. He broke in to use my adjoining bathroom, which i shared with his girlfriend, to then left-shoulder-charge his way into her bedroom. She, with a tiny slit on her left wrist, was sprawled on the floor directly in front for her bedroom door which explained him using the back entrance.

The object which caused the whole drama? A mobile phone. To be specific, his mobile phone, which he thought he had lost a month ago but was in fact stolen from him by his psychopathic girlfriend, my housemate, the person I shared a roof with. He was rightfully very upset when he stumbled upon it while looking for some condoms, and dumped her on the spot whilst losing his erection. Twenty minutes later, he received a sms on his lost-then-found mobile:

I can’t live without you. If you don’t come back in the next 20 minutes, I will KILL myself.

He tried ignoring it, but she had a notorious reputation of self-mutilation. With each passing minute, his conscience gnawed at his resolute to leave her. 2 hours after the whole farce erupted, he gave in, and rushed back to find that she had carried out her treat by:

• Slitting her wrist
• Drinking a whole bottle of cough medicine
• Consuming half of my Clairol Herbal Essence Shampoo

She was rushed to the hospital and the doctors pumped water into her stomach to flush the shampoo out, not unlike Japanese torture I am told. She continued to vomit bubbles for the next hour or so.

He felt touched by her remorse and they got back together.

I have since tried the I-will-kill-myself-by-drinking-this-whole-bottle-of -Clairol-HerbalEssence-if-you-don’t-make-me-chicken-salad-for-lunch- tomorrow threat to extort the laughter and cooperation of my boyfriend with much success. I have since discontinued using Clairol’s fine range of hair products.

The Reversal of Gender Roles- I would like to be a man in my next life.

2006-03-05T12:49:00.000+08:00

As the cab slowed to a stop I glanced at the meter, folded two ten dollar notes, double of the fare of the ride, and slipped them to the driver.

“I’ll be back in ten minutes. Wait for me”.

The Ah Beng, deposited the two notes in his shirt pocket and nodded his agreement. I had a good look at the Ah Beng and made it clear that I would fold his balls in half if he dared leave without me.

I stepped out of the cab and looked around. What was I doing here? I deliberately avoided Holland Village for the past eight months to minimize any chance of me bumping into Jack. We had the ugliest of break-ups: a lot of screaming, some crying, hideous name calling, smashing of gifts, and ending with him calling my parents to tell them I was a self-sabotaging, commitment phobic slut who was emotionally unstable and abusive. Thanks Jack, I love you too.

I came face-to-face with a peach door. His peach door. His peach door which I helped to paint one of those weekends when he grumbled that all we ever did was have sex and drink lots of alcohol. Taking deep breathes, I lifted my hand to rap the door, paused, turned around and started walking away. I heard the peach door open and a familiar voice called out my name.

He pulled me into his chest and hugged me, I felt guilty for the pain I must have caused him. For a former Singapore athlete, he now looked pale and frail. He invited me in, and sat me down in the living room couch.

“Wait here”, he said. “I have something to show you”.

He reemerged from his bedroom cradling a bundle in his arms. “Isn’t she beautiful?” I looked down at the newborn baby.

“Is she yours?” I asked.

“Yes”.

“Who is the mother?”

“I don’t know yet”.

“It isn’t me, is it?”

“No, we always used contraceptives and her blood group is AB. I guess it’s probably one of the women I was with when our relationship was turning sour”.

“Do you need financial support?” I asked.

“No, but thanks for the offer”.

The Ah Beng looked relive when I finally emerged. I got him to drive me to my favorites watering hole. My mobile beeped. New message from Jack.

I know you didn’t want to, but thanks for coming. Sometimes I wish she’s yours. I miss you heaps.

If you’re reading this blog, you probably don’t know me.

2006-03-05T00:42:00.000+08:00

If you’re reading this blog, you probably don’t know me. So I’ve decided, partly because I have nothing to else to write about, it’s high time for an introduction:

I was once asked to describe myself and I candidly replied, "Simple and Open".

Simple, meaning I am not a materialistic person and I am a minimalist. I am not obsessed with brands, I don’t wear make-up, my hair is low maintenance, I don’t desire fame, and I don’t like too much complications in my life. I don't need to hide behind a fake personality, an expensive car or hang out with hip and happening people; I am just me. But understanding me is no simple task. I am fluid and change without even myself noticing it. My experiences in life has made me wiser (though I am far from being wise) and I see things in so many different perspectives its sometime hard to personal know myself what I really believe is right or wrong. My point of view constantly shifts, my principles only last as long as I can defend them, and I am unpredictable especially when I let my emotions take the reins. So though simple I am, I am also complicated.

Open, meaning I like listening to conflicting views, meeting different kinds of people, experiencing the abundance, pains and pleasures of life, and taking in all I can, cause I can, cause I want to, cause I love to My heart is always open to love, my ears open to hear and my eyes open to see. I try my best not to stereotype, prejudge and perceive but I am only human, forgive me for the times I make assumptions. I try to be a good friend, I have a sense of humor and NO, I am not alcoholic! I am a nerd; I like books, cooking my own dinner every night and playing computer games. I love music, though I can’t play any instruments, can’t hold a tune to save my own life, hmmm but I’ve been told I can dance. I believe communication, mutual respect, passion, good sex and common goals make an ever lasting relationship. I believe good friends are always there for you even though you’re not in touch regularly. I believe blood is thicker than water, abusing drugs, alcohol, animals, and others are no good, and cats are a women best friend.

The Education Fair You DON’T Want To Take Your Kids To

2006-03-03T23:32:00.000+08:00

You would think that the organizers of an education fair would take extra care copywriting their advertising campaign. Think again.

“To your child no recognition equals that little recognition from you. To them their childhood is as important as your adulthood”.

WTF? What kinda slogan is that? WTF is it asking the reader to do? WTF? WTF??!

“I am Smart Kid”. Haiyor, WTF man? Isn’t it supposed to be “I am a smart kid”? Unless of course the character’s name is Smart Kid, which makes the text equally as dumb. No kid (fictional or not), who is smart and clever would allow himself to be called Smart Kid.

No parent in their right mind would take their kids to the education fair based on this ad. No kid would find this ad appealing. This ad has no clear message other than to say the organizers need better education and the agency doing this signage is in dire need of a proper copywriter.

A quick visit to their website confirms my worst fears-the same fucker who did the signboard probably “copywrote” the website. How else can you explain this sentence taken from their website?

“There is free admission for children under 16”.

Haiyor, can someone get them to rephrase it to, “Admission is free for children below 16”?

Invitation To The Future Of Shopping

2006-03-01T13:16:00.000+08:00

Yesterday evening I attended the launch of the eGroceries website held at SOULed OUT, Desa Sri Hartamas.

eGroceries claims to be Malaysia’s first online grocery shopping portal which offers a variety of products at reasonable prices. Shoppers select household products online and delivery should be within the next working day. I suspect that condoms could potentially become the company’s best-selling item.

I arrived at the event slightly after seven. Guest primarily consists of the media, which included the TV crew for TV3. The setup was rather plain-a few notebooks displayed the eGroceries website and a podium with banners in the backdrop. There was also a projector, presumably for some sort of video presentation which would officiate the launch.

True to Malaysian timing, the event started an hour late. It began with an introductory speech by one of the directors, followed by a second speech by another director who explained how the whole idea of come about. The third speech was by some guy from MDC who ranted on superfluously about MDC’s role in the ICT sector. He spoke at length about the factors governing the growth on E-commerces and the challenges faced, such as secure payments, internet penetration, yadah, yadah, yadah.

Just as he was coming to the end of his speech, there was a sharp, short, explosive sound, POP! Followed by darkness....

I waited for over 15 minutes for power to be restored before leaving the launch. I hope that at least a handful of people stayed back to witness it. I believe the next time someone from MDC makes a speech about factors governing the growth of the ICT sector, stable electricity supply might be mentioned.

Don't Cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was A Geek Like Me? Don't cha

2006-02-26T05:42:00.000+08:00

Every Tuesday (Every Tuesday)
You’ve nothing to do (You’ve nothing to do)
Get off your ass and stop whining
about Monday blues (about Monday blues)
Come to Hartamas (come to Hartamas)
Orange’s the name (Orange’s the name)
Of a pub where geeks congregate
for pub quiz; are you game? (nerd)
Despite my cool, hip and very happening appearance (yes, I know I am conceited), on a bi-weekly basis, a few of my friends and I meet up to take part in the geekiest activity possible-pub quiz.

The quiz that I attend is held in a pub called The Orange. Which is, surprise, surprise, very orange.

Supposedly pub quiz is a British phenomenon which probably explains why a fair amount the regulars are expatriates. Most of them seem to be English with a sprinkling of Aussies, Europeans and one very obnoxious American.

Assuming you’d like to be part of this super elite and very atas-ourselves group, you’ll first need to form your geek team.

Your team should compromise of at least 4 people. I recommend you bring more people (up to 8) if your team collectively is not that smart. Remember the saying, 2 geeks are better than 1.

This is Slinky’s anyhow-simply-write guide.

1. Firstly gather all your friends who fit the below description:

• Someone who’s auditioned to be on game shows like, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and Roda Impian

• A bespectacled librarian

• A bookworm-especially one who reads newspapers, dictionaries, encyclopedias and biographies

• A couch potato-especially one who likes Channel News Asia, CNN, Discovery and National Geographic.

• An IT geek-someone who knows about the latest gadgets, assembles his own PC, plays DOTA and worships Bill Gates.

• The loser who scored A1 for Sejarah

• A sports junkie

• A movie freak

• A music lover

• Someone who’s well traveled. Stewardess included.

If you’re a librarian who plays chess and DOTA, you should now have about 50 friends to chose from.

If you know all the bars along Asian Heritage Row like your mother’s maiden name, you’ll probably have no friends to chose from, expect maybe some stewardess friends. Skip step number 2, and proceed to con your friends into thinking it’s a great way to meet smart chicks/guys.

2. Selection process.

Next you’ll need to select the best people for the job. The quiz could be about anything under the sun but there are reoccurring subjects, so you'd want experts on the fields below:

• You’ll need someone who’s big on sports. Take note that soccer does not equal sports. Your sports geek will not only need to know how many times Liverpool won the UEFA cup, he’ll need to know about rugby, tennis, cricket, the rules of lawn bowling and former Olympic winners.

• You’ll need someone who is familiar with Geography. Air stewardess seems to fit the bill, but first ask them this question-Which city is farthest north? Tokyo, Seoul or Shanghai. A friend who worked for SIA answered Tokyo. Needless to say she’s not in our very atas team.

• You’ll need a Kay Poh Chi, someone who’s very into the life of others. She’ll need to know who Madonna is having an affair with, who Tammy from NYP is, who’s Paris Hilton’s new best friend, whose breast are recently enhanced and which soccer player is being charged for rape.

• You’ll need someone who is into movies and music. This person should preferably be 35 years and above of age. This is because most questions are about 70’s and 80’s movie and music.

• And lastly, someone who reads the news and knows which ministers has been reshuffled, what’s Tamiflu etc etc

Other popular topics include books, history, science, cars, and comics so get team members who are strong in those areas. Please do not turn up in a team bigger than 8, the ang mohs can be quite kiasu.

3. Select a team name

Next you’ll need to give your geek team a name. I.E Geek fest, Geek Out, ReGeek, Geekbiza, Geek Parade. My personal favorite is Titan Uranus.

4. Understand the Game format

• There are usually 8 rounds on different topics, 10 questions per round.

• Questions are usually projected onto a screen.

• The quiz masters (usually the geek team which won the quiz before), will come around distributing answer papers, which will be handed up at the end of each round.

• Each team will then be asked to select a Bonus round. Select the round you feel most confident with. Marks obtained during this round will be doubled.

• The winning team will win a bottle of wine, a bucket of beer and prepare the questions for the following pub quiz.

5. Show me the money

• Each participant needs to pay RM10, which includes break time snacks. Yummmmm.

I think this is my longest post ever. It is also my first guide to promote a healthy activity which contributes to personal and mental development.
Alright people sing with me, "Don't Cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was A Geek Like Me?" *** slaps own ass*** "Don't cha"

Mum, We Met In A Club...

2006-02-25T20:33:00.000+08:00

I was pretty tipsy when the bouncer waved me into Rush. I glared at Derrick for dragging me into such a poser place on a Friday night without having the decency to book a table. It was the good thing I had a bottle Chardonnay Sauvignon with Janice before Derrick’s driver came to get us.

We made our way to the bar, Aaron was waiting for us. He leaned over to kiss my cheeks and then Janice’s, and quickly mixed us some gin and tonic. I downed a couple of glasses as fast as I could before heading to the dance floor with Janice.

The dance floor was packed but so was the bar, and I’d rather be dancing than standing around looking bored. The music was crap but it didn’t bother me. Alcohol, in the right doses, can make even a Christmas carol danceable, unless of course the club starts playing Chinese Ah Beng pop songs.

We made our way back to the bar for more alcohol. Aaron was getting irritatingly touchy, and my feet were starting to hurt; it was one of those days I had a lapse in better judgment-I wore high heels. Thankfully, Janice spotted an empty table encircled by a nice lounge couch. When we got closer we realized it wasn’t exactly empty. A half full bottle of Martel, a jug of coke, some semi-full glasses and one bored looking dude littered the table.

“Could we share this table with you?” Janice seductively asked.

“Sure” he said, in an unmistakably Aussie accent.

Janice sat next to him and I sat next to her. Janice and Aussie dude, John seemed to get along, and I had a place to rest my feet and sober up. Three of us were merrily engaged in small talk when a slim, very annoyed and jealous looking Malaysian chick showed up. I instantly sensed she was not happy with what she felt as competition. She took her place, next to him and glared at Janice when she noticed that John was holding onto Janice’s name card.

Sensing that this could get ugly, I swapped places with Janice and made small talk to jealous chick. I asked is she frequented Rush and asked for her number; maybe we could go clubbing one day, oh, where did you buy your top? Blah, blah, blah. That probably helped diffused the situation. She asked me if we wanted the table, “they” were leaving soon. I got Janice to transfer Derrick and our bottles over while jealous chick dragged John off.

The Canto Pop session stopped and I was back on the dance floor. A few minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was John.

“Hey, could I have your number?”

“Sorry, I don’t carry my business cards out on weekends.”

“Just tell me what it is. I am good with numbers, I won’t forget it.”

I don’t know what made me do it, “01X-XXXXXXX”.

He kissed me on the cheek, and left.

For someone who hates Rush, wears Addidas to clubs, and never ever gives out phone numbers to strangers, there must have been some form of divine intervention that night.

That is how I met my current love.

Do They Wear High Heels in Heaven?

2006-02-21T01:01:00.000+08:00

My mum looks at me disapprovingly.

“Girl, why don’t you wear high heels with that suit? You’ll look slimmer and taller”.

“Ma, it’s because I don’t want to notice bald spots on top of men’s heads”.

I don’t wear high heels. YES, I know it accentuates the calves and causes the hips to sway ala-Beyonce. And YES I know men find it sensuous- I just can’t wear them.

3 reasons why Slinky don’t/can’t wear high heels

Penguin syndrome
To look graceful in high heels one first needs to walk elegantly. Experts recommend keeping your legs straight and taking smooth even steps while swinging your arms for balance.

The problem with me is that I don’t walk, I waddle. I walk with short steps that tilt the body from side to side. Think penguin.

Now imagine a penguin in high heels.

Broadfan
Some women have narrow feet, or toes which are significantly shorter than the one next to it. This enables them to easily fit into high heel footwear with either regular or long-pointed toe boxes.

My feet are what I would like to call Broadfan. They’re broad and my toes spread out like a fan. Wearing a pair of court shoes, for example, would mangle and crush my toes against the insoles.

Would you like to be stuck in between two 180kg men (their thighs spilling under the arm rest into your seat), on board an AirAsia flight bound for Canada?

I knew you’d share the same sentiments as my feet.

Calflinks

For very little leg, I have a lot of calf. Anything which accentuates my calves will make my short legs look chunkier then they already are. Enough said.

How do I fall? Let me count the ways.

Midvalley’s fire escape? Check
Escalator in KLIA which leads to the express train? Check
Office wee-wee room? Check
Outside the mamak in Telawi, Bangsar? Check

As it stands, I am a klutz extraordinaire in flat shoes. High heels can only mean more comedy for onlookers and more bodily harm for myself. I wish to egt through life without breaking my collar bone. Pray for me Betty.

And last but not least. The main reason why I don’t wear high heels:

I consider high-heeled shoes a tool of female oppression, constraining our movements and behavior as much as possible.

Okay, I admit, I just couldn’t be bothered, I look good enough without them ;P

Of philosophies and venture capitalists…

2006-02-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

I take a deep breath and hesitantly walk into the bar. My eyes instantly find him. He looks up, sensing my eyes on him, and grins widely. I walk over and sit myself directly opposite him. It has been so long, but not long enough.

“Hello, Bruce. How have you been?” I enquire as the waiter brings me my usual two glasses of whiskey.

“Good! And you must be enjoying you work life. I heard you’ve been doing well”.

“Yeah, work’s been great”.

“I’ve been the total opposite”, he volunteers without me asking. “I prefer learning instead of climbing the corporate ladder. I am studying law now and I’ll be changing jobs soon, maybe to a new unexplored industry. I only live once, and won’t want to die as a specialist”.

I pause for a moment thinking what best to say. “Don’t you learn new things at work? Are you bored of your job?”

“Yes I learn, but after knowing their thoughts, I feel they’re only concern with their personal job issues while disregarding what is happening out there. I want more”.

“Bruce, there is no reason to be in business if not to make a profit...

He cuts me off, “that’s why cooperate is killing the world. No offence but they are the new power force, dominating and controlling people. Demanding that we follow their pace. Since young, we’ve been brainwashed and taught the way of life they want us to lead”.

At this point, a waiter walks pass and I grab the chance to order another 2 knit whiskeys. God knows I’ll be needing it. I hoped the little diversion would change the topic but it didn’t.

“That’s why I am learning from different industries. I want to see as much as possible better setting my own route. In the meantime, I’ll settle with their bowl of rice while building my own knowledge before striking back”.

Since I’ve broken up with Bruce, I’ve been told, he’s gotten very philosophical. I was now witnessing it first hand.

“Oh”, he continues, I heard you’ve found a nice guy”.

“Yeah, he’s a babe”.

This was an area in my life I didn’t want to openly discuss, especially with Bruce, but I was grateful for the change in topic.

“How about you? Have you been seeing anyone lately?” I asked.

“I prefer the single life. Too many dreams to achieve”.

“Good for you” I reply.

“I am seeking self improvement in every area but mostly intellectual without boundary, without conventional thinking and freedom to explore. See more, hear more, and conceive all before I die, hopefully. Rules and regulations are written by human, so eventually it should be and will be corrected by human as well”.

I was stunned. How the fuck does someone respond to a statement like that? I reacted in the only way I knew how-by waving my arms madly in the air, trying to flag down a waiter for 2 shots of tequila.

“Make sure my glass is never empty”, I whisper in his ear while slipping him a fiver. “After these two, I want 2 glasses of red wine”. He looks over at Bruce, and understandingly nods.

“You should start your own business”, Bruce continues.

“I plan to one day start my own business. I am just not sure what I want to do yet”.

“Hmmmm, get a few bankers, involve a few economic experts and some local sales people to create a venture capitalist company”.

“Errrrmmmm…that’s not really my thing, plus my Daddy doesn’t print money. So you want to be a VC?”

The waiter comes back with my 2 tequilas, which I down successively.

“Yes. Which is why I am studying law”.

By the now the alcohol was starting to hit me and I was getting really agitated, which made me argumentative and opinionated.

“Do you know what I think is important to be a VC?” I asked. “Gut feel…the ability to predict a certain craze, a killer app, the latest trend, before it happens”.

“This prediction can be done through philosophy guidance”.

“Har?”

“Philosophers always create theories that’s is bound to everything. Everything in life have inter connection between each other, whether they aware or not”

My blood was starting to boil. “Okay, give me an example. Tell me of a product or idea which is going to take the world by storm, based on your philosophical knowledge.”

“Whatever we learn to do, we learn by actually doing it; men come to be builders, for instance, by building, and soccer players by playing soccer. In the same way, by doing just acts, we come to be just; by doing self-control act, we come to be self-controlled; and by doing brave act; we become brave”.

“And how does THIS relate to the next big thing?”

“Every moment, every blink, is composed of series of discrete moving parts, and every one of these parts offers an opportunity for intervention, for reform and for correction. Knowledge, alone, is not power. Great personal power is acquired only through the harmonious cooperation of a number of people who concentrate their efforts upon some definite plan. The next big thing requires a group of people by selection, to discuss and combine each knowledge to form an idea. VC’s will be a great business to start up this team. An open mind to what our life can become is all we need to make our visions into reality. VC is perfect in many ways, help current small business owners, help unemployment, help the government. One of a very important theories of success in philosophy: must produce advantage to everyone involved from every angle. Selfish man are those who live only for self, and usually they prefer to live their lives in company with others who, likewise, believe in living only for self”.

At this point, I was pretty tipsy and yelled “Oh my god, stop rambling! You are quoting so much nonsense I don’t know who I am talking to”.

“I quoted myself; master yourself before mastering the world.”

“Oh God”.

“Understand yourself before understanding your goal”

“Here we go again”.

“My principles, help me…”

“I can’t take it anymore, sorry” I said abruptly. In a blink I was out the door, driving home.

I wish Bruce all the best, and hope that night taught him a new philosophy: Never let one who can drink like a bull, walk out on you without paying the bill.

Sorry, I'm a hypocrite

2006-02-18T01:23:00.000+08:00

A few nights ago, a very horny and deprived friend of mine wanted to bang a few hookers (yes, more than one) and I felt obliged to send his poor stranded housemate home. His housemate was this slim, well-spoken, attractive and very confident single 38 year old lady who was a senior manager for a publishing company. During the long drive to her place, we had quite a lot to chat about.

She recently walked out of another dead end relationship. She told me that as she matures, she's learnt not to put up with nonsense. I totally agree-there is no point being in a relationship with someone just for the sake of companionship. That's what pets are for.

“Marriage is overrated.”

“Agreed. Men are such scums. I can’t believe some of them have the cheek to remove their wedding bands the minute they see an attractive girl”.

“Tell me about it. I recently found out this dude who’s trying to date me, is married. I am not particularly surprised but I hate it when men try to deceive. I don’t see the point in them lying, women so familiar with the scum which is men, we half expect it.”

“At least if they come clean, I could maybe spare a charity fuck”.

“I believe in being the hunter, not the hunted”.

“Yeah. Use them and abuse them”.

“I think men are intimidated by women who know exactly what they want and isn’t afraid to say it”.

“No wonder men steer clear of me; I let them know when they don’t match up against my trusty vibrator”.

"Who needs men? We are the new breed of women-confident, independent, promiscuous.”

By the end of the ride, I knew how many married men she’s slept with and she knew my favorite KamaSutra position. It seemed like we've known each other for ages.

“Thanks for the ride Slinky. Let’s meet up again soon. I had fun talking to you”.

As I watched her walk up her apartment steps, I imagined the big, cold, empty bed she’ll sleep in tonight. I imagine her preparing her frozen dinner, while watching reruns of Sex in the City. I respect her for putting up a strong front. She showed no signs of desperation, and the least I could do was play along, for tonight I’ll return to a home cooked meal, prepared by my lovely chef in sexy boxers. He’ll help me carry in my notebook bag, before giving me a warm hug. When I look at his silly grin and my yummy chicken salad, I can’t help but gloat.

Please don't let me fall...

2006-02-14T21:38:00.000+08:00

It has been almost three years since I’ve turned my back on substance abuse. The 3 months that followed, were perhaps the most testing times of my life. When I lived on drugs, it was a form of self medication. It helped me regulate my emotional turmoils, my bouts of depression and lack of self worth. It made me feel so good. When I look back now, I know that it was merely a distraction; everything felt so intense-sex, music, food, even watching Window’s screensaver was mind-boggling. I understand why people find it so hard to quit drugs. Cliché as it may sound, its “hard to come back to earth, once you’ve been to heaven”.

Overcoming my addiction has made me a stronger person.

I shudder when I think of what I could have become if I had continued on my path of self destruction. I thank my lucky stars that I had trustworthy friends who did not violate me during the times I’ve been fucked to the point of unconsciousness. I hazily remember Patrick. This chubby dude who carried around a Ventolin inhaler, because he knew sometimes I’d have a reaction to the stuff that went up my nostril. Granted, there were other asthmatics like myself who ended up needing it. I was so close…I nearly threw my life away…

I am so proud of myself for each and every day I’ve led a clean life. Each passing day is a step away from my dark past into a promising future.

But there are days like today, when the temptation is just oh, so strong... It’s just a puff, just half a pill, just one line…just one step away from heaven, from ecstasy, from the beginning, from the end.

Dialogue with David, the self proclaimed blog guru

2006-02-13T22:48:00.000+08:00

Slinky's picture of the day: Picture of Irene Ang taken in November at an eBay event.

"OMFG, looking at your site meter dam depressing. Fuckingfortyseven hits a day nia! Eh, why you even bother to blog? Wahlau eh, ask your friends to support a bit lar….. Har? What? Your friends don’t know you have a blog? Sigh. Tiu lor, like that means no hope.

I tell you why your blog so low traffic, it’s because hor, you don’t have a niche. You see all those famous bloggers, they all have some sort of niche one. Like this Kenny Sia, his specialty is in making people laugh at him. And XiaXue is her amazing Photoshop skill. Rockson ler, is famous for his big cock and politics. You don't know who is big-horse Rockson? You know Jeff Ooi or not? Yeah something like that, but not boring and alot of sex. You pulak, is about everything. Sometimes funny, sometimes got sex, sometimes boring, sometimes serious, sometimes got relationships sometimes got video, sometimes not video, sometimes got photo of pussycat…. Your kinda blog only your own friends or maybe an admirer will read one.

Anyway since you are Jack of all trades, master of none, there is another tactic i want to share with you. If you want people to read your blog, you need to post pictures of yourself. You see like that Fireangel chick, wah, post a few pictures, shoot video of herself playing with white stick, now got a huge following liow. I also like following her. Actually you are okay looking, maybe you need some Photoshop skill and diet, then can post your picture liow. I also like this Linda Chia chick. Thanks for the link. Now that I bookmark her URL liow, I don’t need to look for your site then connect to hers. Actually I can remember it, not need bookmark also. Linda Chia, such a beautiful name.

Anyway my final tip for you to get more readers is to give them something. People don’t do things for free; it must be motivated by something. For example give them links to porn, illegal music, jokes,.etc…Maybe can also consider some free movie tickets. Eh I also heard from Thomas you give good tips on how to pick up chicks, and that your joint rolling technique is quite unbeatable. Share some of your skills lar! Eh, no, no, not your cooking skills. Please lar, your cooking cannot pakai one lar.

Eh, eh, eh, where you walking off to? Don’t angry, don’t angry lar. Eh, fuck lar, who is going to pay the bill like that?"

Dear VIP in the tinted chauffeur-driven BMV escorted by two traffic policemen,

2006-02-11T11:07:00.000+08:00

Dear VIP in the tinted chauffeur-driven BMV escorted by two traffic policemen,

Last night, as I and hundreds of other motorist laid stuck in the rush hour jam, aggravated by the rain and impending Thaipusam celebrations, you merrily asked your uniform-clad cronies to turn on their sirens and force the rest of us motorist to make way for you to pass.

What gives you the right to ask me to move aside? Do I not pay the taxes which help the government to build the road I drive on, not to mention your paycheck and the paychecks of the two policemen you used to help you "jump the queue"? Throughout my entire drive back yesterday I did not encounter a single traffic police other than the four (on two separate occasions) which were use to make way VIPs like yourself. Shouldn't they be helping to ease the congestion instead of making sure you'll make it to your mistress's Bangsar apartment in time for a quick shag before rushing home to you unsuspecting wife and children?

Oh, and since we are the subject of jumping queue, I would like present this screenshot taken from the Ministry of Road Safety's website. Please read it carefully, you might learn something.

Also, click on this image for the TV commercial on the same matter.

If our nation's leaders and ministers cannot heed their own advice, please don't preach to me about road safety. I am sick of living in a country with double standards.

Signed,

Someone who writes her own speeches and presentations, knows that Google is not an internet browser, eBay is not an online store, and does not own a subsidiary company which gets paid a "management fee" for doing nothing other than placing a phone call to the "right" people.

Side note: While i was searching for suitable images for this entry, I googled "Malaysian Police" under google's image search. Guess which well known Malaysian blogger's picture appears in the first page of the results?

Berry (*his real name) the stalker

2006-02-10T00:56:00.000+08:00

Picture of the day: Every calorie counts!

I got stalked by some guy from my gym a while ago. Actual MSN conversations as below.

Slinky: okay anyway there was once i was walking out of the gym after workout

H3nry: ok..'

Slinky: then i heard this guy calling out a chick’s name dam loud

H3nry: ok

Slinky: "Nancy!!, NANCY!!!"

H3nry: :-O

Slinky: and the next thing i knew, the fella tap me on my shoulder

H3nry: omg

H3nry: haha

Slinky: he was like "Nancy, it me!!"

Slinky: i was like "errrr, wrong person lar"

H3nry: :-O

Slinky: "eh, so sorry, you look so much like my friend. where u work?" blah balha blah

Slinky: then sohai me exchange name cards with him

Slinky: then he started smsing

Slinky: trying to fix date

Slinky: so i told him i am married

Slinky: staying with parents in law

Slinky: but still he sms once in a while...

Slinky: never saw him in gym after that

Slinky: then my hp lost mar

H3nry: omg!!

H3nry: yea...

Slinky: so good mar

H3nry: geeze....

Slinky: then

H3nry: yea...

H3nry: who is that... so sad

Slinky: no no haven’t end my story

H3nry: :-O

Slinky: so anyway after that i didn’t see him for a long time....then one day, i saw him from a distance in my gym

Slinky: so i quickly walked into the shower cause he cant follow mar

Slinky: after i showered

Slinky: i cepat cepat walk out..

Slinky: down the stairs...out the gym doors...didnt hear anyone following me

Slinky: phew...

Slinky: so i picked up my phone...

Slinky: started calling my mom

Slinky: slowly walk down to the car park...then

Slinky: suddenly...

H3nry: :-O

Slinky: a hard tap on my shoulder... "AMY!!! AMY!! its YOU!!!

Slinky: i was so shocked i screamed so dam 999 loud

H3nry: :-O

Slinky: cause i tot i was alone mar...some more walking to car park

Slinky: dam freaky

Slinky: and it was kinda late

Slinky: and no one around

Slinky: "Ermmm i am not AMY"

Slinky: "eh, so sorry, you look so much like my friend AMY where u work? we must have meet b4"

Slinky: and he asked me for my number...

Slinky: and i gave him my old name card

Slinky: the one with the old number

Slinky: i was kinda freaked lar...so didn’t wanna offend him

Slinky: after that he said he will call me

Slinky: but number wrong mar

Slinky: so avoided gym for a while

Slinky: didn’t see him again until today

Slinky: sigh

Slinky: going for lunch

Slinky: ttyl

Slinky: then i continue part 3 of the story

Note: part 3 copied and pasted from another conversation.

fuah: you got stalked? when??

Slinky: this morning

fuah: waaahh what happened?

Slinky: this weird guys has been trying to get my phone number from gym

Slinky: today when i was driving to work

Slinky: i stopped at a red traffic light

fuah: guys?? you mean there's a bunch of them??

fuah: and then?

Slinky: guy

Slinky: sorry guy

fuah: ok ok

Slinky: then i looked in my side view mirror and saw someone getting down from the car behind me

fuah: then??

Slinky: i didn’t realise it was him

fuah: omg!

fuah: then???

Slinky: and i tot maybe my boot was not close and he came to tell me

Slinky: anyway

fuah: yesh?

Slinky: i wind down my window

Slinky: and immediately i realise who it was

fuah: man you shouldn't have done that

fuah: what did he do?

Slinky: he looked at me and said "Hi"

fuah: omg

Slinky: "i've meet u b4 right"

fuah: ultimate stalker pickup line

Slinky: "my name is Berry"

Slinky: "i just came back from Australia"

fuah: berry?....omg...ultimate stalker fag name

fuah: omg...

Slinky: "if i am not mistaken u are Jennifer right?"

fuah: ..........

Slinky: i was like "no"

fuah: then???

Slinky: then he said "oh, really?"

Slinky: "yeah, i am not Jennifer, never meet u before" **winds up window

fuah: thennnn??

Slinky: "wait, wait, why don’t you give me your number? can i call you?"

fuah: omggggggg

fuah: then?

Slinky: "no"*** window closes

fuah: my god...at that point i would have jammed on the accelerator!!

fuah: eeeee

fuah: then then??

Slinky: and bang the car in front of me??

fuah: oh ya

fuah: ,,,

Slinky: the road is two lane

Slinky: so next to me directly was another kelisa

Slinky: so there was a gap in between me and the other car

Slinky: STALKER drove in between me and the other kelisa

fuah: >__<

Slinky: so was on my left...

fuah: ...so freakyyyyy

Slinky: waving at me...smiling

fuah: ............................

fuah: *hair stands*

Slinky: traffic light turned green and i drove off dam fast

fuah: did he give a chase??

Slinky: no

Slinky: phew
fuah: ....

Slinky: :'(

fuah: omg...you better be careful la

fuah: don't go to the gym anymore

fuah: if you do go with someone

fuah: omg....

Slinky: getting pepper spray today

Slinky: no i am gonna complain to the gym

fuah: but he might catch you after your gym session!!!

fuah: eeeee

fuah: eh seriously...what if you're trying to get into the car and he sneaks up behind you

fuah: or what if he follows you home

fuah: omg...

Slinky: its okay

fuah: i tell you if i were there with you i'll be the ultimate stalker repellent

Slinky: i can go to another gym

Slinky: my gym has many outlets

fuah: i give him my "uber glare of death*

fuah: and i'll bare my yellow teeth

Slinky: hello this guys is dam thick skin

Slinky: u bare your yellow teeth he may think u want to kiss him

Slinky: >.<

fuah: oh yeah....stalkers tend to be damn perasan under any circumstances

fuah: like they are the ultimate losers on earth

fuah: hhhmmm...

fuah: but if i were there he wouldn't try anything

fuah: cos i fight like a man and i bite like a rabid dog

Slinky: i dont think he will try anything

fuah: *strikes pose*

fuah: still...better to be safe man

fuah: is he...even cute

Slinky: nooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Slinky: loser material

fuah: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

fuah: like....pimply? with burn marks on his fingers?

Slinky: no lar

fuah: cos he lights up candles on his stalk list altar?

Slinky: .........

Slinky: >.<

fuah: i bet he is collecting pics of you...pinning them up in his closet

Slinky: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Slinky: no man

Slinky: don’t scare me

fuah: with candles and weird satanic signs

fuah: he probably made a sacrifice in your honour

fuah: ....a little...

fuah: headless....

fuah: kitten!

fuah: then...he has a blow up doll with your pic on the face

fuah: ...sorry

Slinky: :'(

fuah: but....this way you'd be more careful

Slinky: >.<

fuah: this kind of ppl ah......damn sad....must have been abused when young

fuah: take care you know

fuah: and you should practice spraying that pepper spray

fuah: it'd be bad if you sprayed it in your face

fuah: i bet if you told Jack, Jack would go into a jealous rage and go "HEY!nobody touches my killer whale!!"

Slinky: ................

Slinky: very funny

fuah: hahah

Have you been stalked before?

Super Bowl XL: Budweiser Commercials

2006-02-07T14:52:00.000+08:00

Wasssssaaaabiiii!

Anheuser-Busch's “Magic Fridge” bags top honors (surprise, surprise) for a record eighth-consecutive year as the top-rated commercial in USA TODAY's exclusive Ad Meter real-time consumer focus group ranking of the Super Bowl commercials.

I particularly like it when the dude in black says, “A secret revolving wall…Dude, you’re a genius.” I guess not, eh?

Here's the rest:

Michelob Ultra Amber also by Anheuser-Busch

Bonus clip
My favourite! "What are YOU doing?"

Super Bowl XL: Pepsi Commercials

2006-02-07T12:37:00.000+08:00

I'll be the first to admit I am a total blockhead when it comes to the NFL.

"Berbair, why is it called Super Bowl XL?"

"....because it's the 40th Super Bowl."

Anyway, who cares about the game? I care only for the above par commercials.

Here are two Pepsi commercials which aired during the event.

Bonus Clip
This bonus clip is a personal favourite from last year.

More commercials after lunch.

Female joggers' worst nightmare: Irreversible Breast Sag

2006-02-05T17:45:00.000+08:00

Great. Just, great.

I finally get back on the treadmill only to run the risk of having my breast sag to the point I can hang them on my shoulders. What better way to dampen the I-Ate-Too-Much-CNY-Cookies-And-Now-Need-To-Exercise spirit than to read about a recent study that suggest some 9.5 million British women could be irreversibly damaging their busts by exercising without a proper sports bra.

“The report found that each breast moves independently of the body by an average of nine centimetres during each step taken on a treadmill. So, while a woman’s legs run a metric mile, her breasts bounce up to 135 metres under their own steam.”

“There are two results of this breast movement: pain and discomfort, which is temporary; and a stretching of the Cooper’s ligament, which is permanent and leads to irreversible breast sag”.

The frightful words “irreversible breast sag” was suffice for me to change my evening jog to an evening swim. I don’t feel it’s safe to do any form of exercise which involves my boobs bouncing about until I blow a small fortune on some good underwire support.

Great. Just, great.

One of the one thousand

2006-02-04T00:33:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I am shamelessly next to Kenny Sia!

I am a self-proclaimed photography genius!

2006-02-02T21:54:00.000+08:00

A friend asked for some pet photographing tips after I emailed her pictures of my cats. In general I take bad photos - I have shaky hands and no basics in photography, other than to ensure that the subject is always in the center of the viewfinder, and that the lens cover is removed before attempting to take a shot.

But her flattery and having nothing else better to do got to me. So here I am a total photography colt, blogging about tips to improve portraits of your furry friends.

Tip number one: Avoid using the flash.

Why?
• Your pet might blink or suffer from red/green-eye
• The picture might not look natural
• It distorts the natural color of your pet

Tip number two: See eye to eye

Why?
• Your pet is tired of a seeing of your thunder thighs from under that dress, so give her a break.
• Also, pictures tend to look better.

Tip number three: Play with angles.

Some angles make can your pet look good…

Some, not so good…

Tip number four: Hit that shutter button.

The Holy Grail for okay looking pictures is to fucking hit on that shutter button as fast and as many time as you possibly can. If you’re an amateur this is your best bet. It’s a number’s game – the more pictures you take, the more likely you’ll end up with something nice.

I should also mention that it helps if the subject you are photographing is appealing to the eye, take for example my cats. But if you are trying to take a lovely photograph of…say for example this dead dog with a blog, then you’re up for a challenge.

Pornographic Chinese New Year Doll.

2006-01-29T14:28:00.000+08:00

Someone gave my mum two dancing Chinese New Year dolls.

At first glance, they seem innocent enough. That’s until the male one starts dancing.

Shoo-wop-she-bop

Morning Express with Michael Lai (TMNET CEO)

2006-01-23T23:53:00.000+08:00

I listened to Michael Lai on my way to work today. The interview is what I can only describe as entertainment at its best. Based on that radio interview, this is what I have to say about the man.

I like Michael Lai, for he is a poet. He says things like:

“Wah, today the flesh is a little bit weak but whenever I am here the spirit is always strong”, before he starts singing “I feel good! Dadadada!”.

“As I always say, at the end, technology is not special, life is.

He quotes, “Aspire to greatness. Each of us is going to travel the world of life’s adventure only once. But once is enough if you do it right. So my advice is - One life to lead, and one life to live, and it’s ours. So make it good Malaysians, doesn’t matter if it’s short or if it’s long, as it was a good one. Because in the end it is not the years in you life that count, it s the life in your years. So Malaysian, be the champions, make it matter."

I like Michael Lai, for he is a neologist. He creates new ways to use common words:

“Last week we asked Malaysians on their opinions on the government’s STABS to curd the country’s crime rates.”

“You’re SPORT on, SPORT on, Nigel!

“Victor from Malaysian IDLE”.

I like Michael Lai, for he looks on the bright side of life (also known as turning a blind eye to fundamental facts).

“I would like to thank all customers out there who supported TMNET through thick and thin and voted for us on the PC.com awards.” ~ Michael’s response on TMNET Streamyx winning PC.com’s Best Broadband Internet Service Provider.

He obviously forgot that they very much monopolize the entire market.

I like Michael Lai, for he thinks even the dumbest questions are intelligent.

DJ: “And what’s the function of an installer, Mr Lai?”
ML: “Well good question Nigel! An installer's role is to install TMNET streamyx at the customer’s premises…”

I like Michael Lai, for he does not encourage dangerous driving (just really corny punch lines).

“Just for those who balik kampong during this festive season, drive carefully. No speeding on the highway. And remember, it’s only legal to hit on the accelearate, on the broadband superhighway.”

I like Michael Lai. Same time, same station next week.

Radio interview here.

Cybersex, love, and drugs 2

2006-01-18T19:11:00.000+08:00

Note: This is the second part to this post. You might want to read it first.

Have you ever secretly liked someone, but never dared to believe, even in your dreams, he’d like you too? Have you ever felt drawn to someone you’ve just met, because he understands you better than you do yourself, and the only logical reason must be, he was a lover from your previous life, and the life before that life, and the life before that life.

From the first time we met, I felt a connection. I felt naked, like he could read my mind, understand my most childish fears, and dispel the knots of anguish I bottled inside. When I looked into his tender eyes, I saw someone who wanted to heal my wounded soul. Someone who felt so much pain looking at what I’ve done to myself, he had to close his eyes to calm his thoughts.

Meeting Jack the first time was an ineffable feeling. It was a short meeting, but when he hugged me before we parted, I knew we would be together.

I was a ship with a torn stern, in the eye of the storm, struggling not to sink, not to crash against the sharp rocks. Every direction I turned, darkness encompassed me. Jack was my lighthouse, my safe harbor, my new drug.

His life story inspired me to change, to stop drugs, to realize that life is a blank canvas and only I held the brush. He was from a poor family. His Dad was in the police force, and his mum worked as a maid for rich Singaporean families. He didn't owned a bicycle, until one of the families his mum worked for threw one out. At a very tender age, he started smoking, got involved in gangs which escalated to drug abuse. His body is covered with tattoos; one on each arm, one on his right calf and 4 Chinese characters on his back.

He bounced back, armed with only his A-levels, and started a very successful sales career in a multinational company. By 23, he had his own car and gold car. His company trusted his so much, he was sent to Europe to run the operations. He decided to stop work in his late-twenties, and with his savings, self financed his diploma, degree and masters in Australia. We he spoke, I listened and respected him, for he too carried battle scars.

I decide to bite the bullet, stop drugs, and endured the backlash of 4 years of abuse. There were days, when I felt so bad, I wished I died in my sleep. Drugs regulated my mood. Now my emotions were all over the place, with extreme highs and lows. Becoming sane again, drove me crazy. But he held me together, he sooth me, he made me feel there was more to life than this.

One weekend, a month after we first meet, Jack came over to my place as usual. And we had a wonderful weekend playing pool, watching old movies and indulging in a legal sin, wine. Sunday night, he stayed with me until I was ready to sleep and made his way across the causeway way pass midnight.

The next morning, while I was still in bed, my phone rang. I smiled, when the caller id showed “unknown”. It must be him.

“Hello”

“Hello”, said an anxious voice. “Is that Slinky? Was Jack with you last night?”

My heart skipped a beat. My mind raced; he must have had an accident. This lady is must his sister, calling me, because he didn’t make it back home. The thought of Jack hurt was too much to bear. I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t speak.

“Hello, are u still there? Were you with Jack last night?

“Yes, yes, I was. Is he safe?” I blurted out.

Silence followed.

My heart sank.

“Do you know who you are speaking too?

“No”, I replied.

I couldn’t bring myself to ask if he was safe. From her voice I could tell she’s been crying. My mind was a blur.

“Do you want to know who you are speaking to?” she finally asked.

“Yes”.

Silence
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.
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.
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.
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“ I am his wife”.

Cybersex, love, and drugs

2006-01-17T14:43:00.000+08:00

The first time I had cybersex (1996), I met Jack, who immediately deduced from my obviously lack of sexual experience that I was a virgin desperately trying to pass off as a blonde slut. He was 8 years older, extremely intelligent with a wicked sense of humor. I was immediately, wildly infatuated with his online persona. He was very experience with women and when we chatted, he knew the right buttons to push to make me feel so sensuous. He took a genuine interest in me, and gave me advice without treating me like a child. I so longed to meet him, but alas, though Singaporean, he lived in Europe.

A year later, I moved to KL to attend college and meet the guy who would eventually tear my hymen. Jason was sweet but overly possessive. His explosive temper, triggered by something as trivial as another guy talking to me, cost me a lot of friends. Jack was one of the casualties. Jason forbade me to contact any other male, and happily delete every single male contact from my cellphone and email address book. I was in love, I was blind, and I put up with it for three years. He got abusive; I put on my running shoes, literally.

I moved on and got stuck for another three years with a wannabe-professional-Counter-Strike-gamer, cum pothead. I too became a wannabe professional gamer cum pothead. I spent so much time smoking Jumbo Js, feeding the munchies and exercising nothing but my fingers, my weight hit an all time high of 72kgs. Somehow, Jack managed to find me online through ICQ, and told me to get a grip. I fought back, stopped gaming, started exercising, lost 19kgs (unfortunately it didn’t last ;P) in under a year and managed to complete my degree. But I was addicted to weed.

I started work in JB; my pothead boyfriend did not finish his degree and was going no where in life. I tried my very best to help to help, but eventually threw out the life raft and jumped off the sinking ship. It was perhaps the lowest point in my life. I was single again, after two, three year relationships, and my family was falling apart. Mum and Dad would argue, while I sat in my bedroom, rolling a joint to calm the nerves. Their arguments got worst, my addiction deepen. To make matters worst, I got involve with someone I should not have gotten involved with because he was involved with someone else. I started taking pills to regulate my mood swings, to help me sleep. I took ice, ecstasy, ketamine, dormicum…anything I could lay my hands on. I got involved with people who were bad for me. I took more drugs. It was a vicious cycle.

One night in a mamak, after a ketamine-induced night of partying, when everyone was ready to go home, I felt so depressed; I secretly popped and chewed 2 ecstasy pills. I received an SMS from Jack (he was back in Singapore for sometime now). He wanted to know if I’d be free the next day. I never got the chance to reply. The next thing I knew I couldn’t see. Everything became a blur. I had to be carried back home by a good friend. I hallucinated the whole night of walls caving in on me and people walking around my bedroom, while I lay glued to my bed hardly able to move. I cried and I slept with someone I didn’t love but loved me. The next morning I woke up with a very swollen jaw and a dozen ulcers from biting myself. Even my most hardcore druggie friends felt I was dangerously reeling out of control.

Jack called me that very afternoon to say that he’ll be coming to JB with another friend and was hoping to have coffee with me. It would be the first time we met after 7 years of being online friends.

We met for the first time in Coffee Bean and recognized each other instantly. After the customary “Hellos”, he squeezed my jaw, and although I did not tell him what transpired the night before, asked, “My dear girl, what drugs are you on?”

My heart whispered, “I found my soulmate”.

To be continued...

Part 2 here

Four ringtones and a Haiku

2006-01-14T23:45:00.000+08:00

Streamyx service down.
On a lazy Saturday,
New ringtones I make.

To the people at Streamyx, I'd like to wish you a warm FUCK YOU for making me to spend my entire Saturday waiting for your technician who never came, and for the phone calls you didn't returned.

On the bright side, I was so bored, I installed a pirated music editing software, and voila! - new ringtones! Here are some of my favorites.

Please note, music files play for about 25-40 seconds.

My new default ringtone is Blur's Song 2 (Listen to ringtone). Woo-hoo!

Interesting fact: Song 2 is the second track on the CD, the second single from the album, it hit #2 in the UK, and it is 2 minutes long.

All my cute boy friends are now assigned to the Bee Gee’s classic, Staying Alive (Listen to ringtone). This tune makes me wanna strut sexily down the street like the tight-ass hunk in the Diet Pepsi commercial.

I got the infamous Katamari, Laaaa lalalalaalaa song as the assigned ringtone for my addicted-to-PlayStation sister.

And all true mobile phone ringtone lovers have at least one techno/trance sounding ringtone, so for my boss, the ultimate Ah Beng track.

Right, time for some juice.

Slinky, not chunky.

2006-01-14T02:34:00.000+08:00

Today I stumbled upon this lovely lady’s long fingers while getting my daily fix of Kenny Sia. I like her entries, she’s got such a natural flair for writing, and boy oh boy, what a babe. Such long, slim, limbs…

I envy people who are naturally slim, even more so if they are tall. Even more so if they are slim, tall and look divine without makeup. Even more so if they are slim, tall, beautiful, and gift wrapped with attitude and personality.

Sometimes, I wonder if slim people take for granted how wonderful it is to be slim.

I’ve battled bathroom scales ever since I left high school. From a moderate 51kg 16 year old, I morphed into a stranded beach whale at 72kgs by the time I turned 22. Since then, I’ve been on the Cambridge diet, the low-fat diet, the Atkins diet, the South Beach Diet, the fucking-don’t-eat-anything diet. You name it, I’ve dieted it.

In 2003, I achieve what many, including myself, thought impossible; I got down to 52 by making dieting my religion, and exercising my creed. By leading a life, which was, in no way normal - absolutely no sugar, no rice, no noodles, no potatoes, no fat, no diary, no fast food, no supper, no fruits, no fried food. I worked out till the point of exhaustion, nothing less than 2 hours a day, everyday. But still, I did it! I was fifty-whoopy-doooo-two.

Unfortunately, this dieter’s story didn’t have a Christy Chung ending.

Like every person not born with a silver spoon in one’s mouth, I started climbing the corporate ladder, and so did my scales. The two equations below basically sum it up:

Equation 1)
More Money = More Work = Less Time = Less Exercise = Weight Gain

Equations 2)
More Money = More Work = More Stress = More Alcohol + Chocolate = Weight Gain

Now at 58kg, I feel the fear.

If you’ve never been fat, then semi-slim again, you will never know the extent of how superficial people can be. You’ll never know the embarrassment of a physician telling you that the reason you have piles is because you’re probably too fat. You never know how belittling it feels when someone tell another “You’re mama’s so fat” joke. You’ll never know what it feels like when a sales girl tells you that they don’t have a larger size because the black pants (always chose black when you’re fat, it acts as a camouflage) you have on, which is too tight, is XL, the largest size they carry.

I swear, there is no way in hell, I will ever be fat again (nullified once I am above 50 years of age or have no more intentions of being naked in front of another living soul). I want to be a slinky, not a chunky chink (hence the blog title). I may no be there yet, but that’s where I am headed. This blog shall be the testament of my humps, bumps, and blue-blacks bruises, along the way. Pray for me Linda, I’d like your legs please.

Update: View Linda's very thoughtful reply to this.

Is love enough?

2006-01-11T01:33:00.000+08:00

Lately when we walk pass a jewelry shop, occasionally he'll stop, point to a solitary diamond ring through the glass window and ask me what I thought about a particular design.

In the last couple of years, I watched as the people around me marry for a variety of reasons other than love. In most situations, there was indeed love in the relationship, but also present was a more persuasive factor which influenced them to take the plunge.

A Singaporean friend of mine did it to own a HDB flat.
My Arab friend did it so she could move out and escape from her controlling parents.
An old college mate did it because she got pregnant.
My gorgeous friend did because she would marry into wealth and luxury.
A good friend did it to facilitate visa application when he got posted to Switzerland for a year.
My ex-lover did it because she's suicidal and he's been with her for 11 years; though he wasn't always faithful, obviously.

Whenever I attend or hear of a wedding these days, I wonder about the other reasons...not because I don't believe in love, but because I think love alone does not create the urgency needed to tie the knot, unless, of course, the couple has refrained from pre-marital sex ;P

For now, I intend to base my decision, solely on the size of the rock.

Life insurance, anyone?

2006-01-01T18:38:00.000+08:00

I recently toyed with the idea of a career in network marketing/MLM. I am drawn by the promise of flexible working hours and unlimited earning potential.

Out of curiosity, or perhaps the ridiculous dream of owning a snazzy pink Porsche to match my new pink sandals, I sought advice from a friend who has an e-commerce business (better know as Amway). She gave me the fundamentals and some pointers, and promised to bring me along for the next weekly Amway gathering. At the back of her head, I am also sure she gleefully tagged the word, “Prospect”, to my name.

I decided to do some homework and flipped through the address book of my cell phone. I realized that other than my family, there are only 4 people I call on a regular basis. One of them is my boss and the other is the slave (whom I greatly adore) that reports to me.

Somehow the thought of meeting up with someone, I hardly bother to call in other circumstances, to share an exciting new business opportunity with sounds wrong. I know if the tables were turned I won’t find it assuming.

Hmmmm…

Perhaps I should try professional blogging instead. I heard the pay is pretty decent.