Growing up, I hated leaving Malaysia for our yearly family vacation. I hated leaving the comforts of my home, being away from my friends and having to deal with food, climate, people and culture I was not accustom to. Sure, Italy had the Vatican, Egypt had the Pyramids, New York has the Statue of Liberty, LA had Universal Studios, Melbourne has the (then) 12 Apostles…but nothing felt better than being home.

In college I made conscious choices to stay in the country. I changed from an American Degree Program which required I spend 3 years in Western Michigan to an Australian Program which only required I spend one year away. I was eventually given the choice to complete the entire course in Malaysia and I choose to stay.

When I finally started working I started to feel the itch for an overseas stint. I went to Singapore for a while but eventually returned home. But the longer I stayed in the country the more discontent I felt. I met some really inspirational people from other countries who made me realize that the methodologies and strategies deployed by local companies were less than desirable. I also became more aware of my rights as a Chinese Malaysian.

Malaysia lacks creativity and the ability to advance as the cream of the crop went overseas to study and has no motivation to return. My cousin for example was unable to obtain a scholarship in Malaysia but was granted a full scholarship by Cambridge University for his outstanding performance. He’s gone on to work for huge companies in London, New York, Hong Kong, Spain and Singapore. The one country he won’t be working in anytime soon is his home country. My friends were gladly accepted into Singapore polytechnics and universities after failing to get a place in the local universities. Some of them have given up their Malaysian citizenship as they felt more Singaporean than Malaysian.

After spending 27 years of my life in a place I called home, a place I never wanted to leave despite numerous opportunities, I feel torn to admit I want out. I am tired of policies which benefits a certain race. I am sick of working my ass off for a government who sends someone into space to play “batu seremban” and to make ‘the tarik” in the name of science??? I had enough with our corrupt policemen, politicians, taxi drivers, our repressed local media, our stupid “Malaysia Boleh” catch cry. I am disappointed to learn that immigrants from Vietnam and other war torn countries get housing, heath care and allowances from the Australian government whereas I, Malaysian am a second class citizen in my own country.

Fate knocks on my door and once again I am given a chance to leave, this time I think I’ll walk.