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Sunday, March 12, 2006 

Let Me Finish My Suicide Note

I picked up "Let Me Finish" by Udo Grashoff while browsing through the bookstore today. The book is a collection of suicide letters released from police files in Germany, and are accompanied by a brief explanation using the case notes surrounding the suicide. Unrequited love, public shame and the loss of a loved one are all painful experiences, but very few people react by taking their own lives.

Sample of some of the suicide notes

Karin P wrote to her husband before killing herself and their three children

I am committing this act in order to bring you to your senses, I hope you understand that. (She leaves money for funeral roses in her handbag.) I should have just spent this cash because you never thought once of the children when you bought your motorbikes, your car or your telescope — it was all about your pleasure.

Suicide note by an indebted 58-year-old man in Dusseldorf

Income 156 marks
Rent 43.65
Light 12.60
Laundry 15
Grave 10
Coal 5
Debts 8
156 - 94.25 = 61.75.
31 days living and smoking on 61.75 marks is impossible, so I wish my life farewell.

If I were to kill myself, what sort of suicide note would I leave behind?


Thank you for still loving me after the incident involving a clipper and the hair on your head 4 weeks before your brother’s wedding. I love you for many reasons, particularly your chicken salads. Please bury me with my notebook; heaven’s bound to have internet sooner or later and I have a couple domain names I would like to squat on. My worldly possessions are yours to keep, with the exception of my Ipod. You may only keep it if you promise never to taint it with the likes of Westlife and Backstreet Boys. Tell my Mum that her constant line dancing to Achy Breaky Heart is shortening the life expectancy of both my sister and Dad, and that her cream puffs is the single cause ten people had bad diarrhea last Christmas. You have been my greatest love and I will cycle through you, Brad Pitt and Jack Gyllenhaal while masturbating in heaven.


Errr, you might not want a mistake in your suicide note, it's Jake, not Jack. No good masturbating to the wrong person.

Thanks for the heads up. I wouldn’t have noticed if you didn’t point it out, and now that you have, its just too hilarious to edit.

Good thing is, if you edit it, my comment would sound silly.

I liked your comment. It humors me.

Are you serious or just being sarcastic? cause i dont have a sense of humour, so i cant tell.

Serious :)


Jack Gyllenhaal...whoever, wherever you are...i know you've been sneezing and feeling an itch up your balls recently wondering wtf's goin on..........all i can say is..........stop scratching.

Let me finish, is actually a really good book. I too found it while browsing and for some reason unknown to myself i was compeled to buy it. Its such a simple idea and although many reviews are highly critical, i really did find it a good book :)

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